16 March 2013 @ 01:10 pm
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I'm working through last week's lecture slides. 
Although I am progressively getting through these slides, I don't feel like I'm actually making any progress whatsoever. 
I'm working away, but am I moving away? 
Slide after slide, question after question, but I don't seem to see a big picture, an overall meaning, a message, something that I can use to help me become a successful engineer.
I can't piece together these fragments of information I'm getting from completing these questions. What do these questions mean? How are they in anyway useful? How are they going help me achieve what I want to achieve in life? These questions are intangible, so intangible that I feel as though I'm wasting away my hours solving problems that don't need to be solved. 
So why should I keep diligently sitting here solving these complex-self-esteem-zapping-mind-racking problems, when I'm not gaining much else aside from a horrible head ache. 

I could give up entirely, give up this unit, give up my engineering course, since I don't see the point in following a path that leads to nowhere and instead follow a different route, one that's laden with wherever my heart leads me. 

I'm so lost :(