Weowwwww.

I wish I had the right vocab to describe how I feel right now.

I kind of feel angry, confused and a bit hopeful.
I'm more paralyzed than anything.
What do I do next? What if I don't know?
What happens when you realise that for your whole life time up till now, from Monday - Friday, you are governed by the timetable of your school and on the weekend you are yet again subjected to the time schedule and curriculum of tuition/language school?
And now, we have to find things to occupy our own vacant time blocks. No more dependance, just us and the big, real world.

When your version of reality collapses and disintegrates, It's time to find a new reality, but in the mean time, you are still struggling in equillbrium, a place that's better known as limbo. 
And that feeling, is what I'm feeling now. Mixed w/ a bit of people-people stories which I won't type out.

So, what do I do?
Continue downstream along the Equillibrium river, or find a way to jump out and start creating my own path? 
I'm 18 soon, I will no longer just be my parent's child, but the world's. I will begin to belong to the world.

Let's start w/ baby steps and start by getting my work done for today before I go out to the park to visit my school mates who are having a picnic.