happytee: icon (Default)
happytee ([personal profile] happytee) wrote2013-04-05 11:07 pm

ImMUture.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

So I just came home from a catch up sesh with a boy, or for the more skeptical, a "date". 

And boy, did I get a serious metaphorical beating out of tonight's events. 
I came to three very important realisations about myself and the world around me: 

1) I can be very cold. I tend to shut myself completely off when somebody advances on me, whether it's because I do so as a cheap joke or most likely because I don't want to let anybody in that easily, but either way, it heeds the same outcome - making my friend here feel the icy draft I emit by being "too cool" for them. 
Furthermore, I wasn't taking the whole reciprocating thing too seriously, no, I wasn't taking it seriously at all, I saw it as a complete joke. If he made a move, I just drew back and watched him fall into a tumble in front of me. 
Now, I don't mean to say that oh yes! I must show everybody that I love them even if I really don't! My body is ready! But what I think I now realise that even if I don't accept it their advances or their gesture of warmth towards me, at least I can show that I appreciate them, and not laugh in their face and treat them as though they're specks of dust. 

This leads me to 2) Not being so self-centered. I, hate to admit this to myself, but my date was cold, hungry, extremely tired and he also traveled a rather long way to catch up with me tonight, and what did I do? I carried on with my plans for the night, he was obediently following along until it probably accumulated to a point in which he had enough of me. I noticed his presence, but I failed to notice him as a person, a being with feelings, hopes, dreams and a need to feel loved and cared about too, not a rag doll being dragged by the hair all over the place. I feel as though his patience wore off after a while because he couldn't put up with someone who just couldn't understand him.

3) The reason 2) happened was also because I wasn't paying attention, which is something I really need to do in life if I want to succeed. I think being myopic, immature and happy-go-lucky really inhibits my ability to see further than what I have in front of myself, which is myself. The world does not revolve around you and your cuteness Tina, unless that is your world, a world where no friend is in sight because you scared them all off, oh what a lonely world you will be living in...  

I'm going to apologise to my friend now >.< 

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Post a comment in response:

From:
Anonymous( )Anonymous This account has disabled anonymous posting.
OpenID( )OpenID You can comment on this post while signed in with an account from many other sites, once you have confirmed your email address. Sign in using OpenID.
User
Account name:
Password:
If you don't have an account you can create one now.
Subject:
HTML doesn't work in the subject.

Message:

 
Notice: This account is set to log the IP addresses of everyone who comments.
Links will be displayed as unclickable URLs to help prevent spam.